It’s been a weird week. This ridiculous heatwave is making it impossible for me to get enough sleep, and it’s made my anxiety rear its head in weird and unexpected ways.
I actually went to the doctors for the first time in nearly three years, because after a 3am panic attack on Tuesday night, I was convinced that my heat rash was something much worse and that there was something seriously wrong with me.
Spoiler: it was just heat rash.
BUT I did also manage to get my smear test done at that appointment. So that’s something. (And yes, I turn 27 in October and have been putting it off for nearly two years. And yes that was a TERRIBLE decision. And yes it was definitely nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Ladies: get your smear done.)
Then there was a whole drama about trying to find an outfit for my friend’s wedding. I’ve put on over a stone since last summer and now none of my dresses will do up. I’ve kind of been ok with it so far, but I’d ordered a few things for this wedding that didn’t fit me, and then DPD screwed me over by not delivering my final option, and it all ended with me having a meltdown on Instagram. I had a little cry, and I felt so silly about it, but it was just the last straw on the end of a bad week.
That storm kind of cleared the air though. Ghenet rang to check I was OK and gave me a little over-the-phone pep talk. My lovely pal Katie ordered me over to her house to borrow something from her wardrobe. (She lent me the gorgeous blue Lady Vintage dress, and I felt so wonderfully confident and comfortable for the whole wedding). Jasmin came over to watch Love Island, and distracted me with gin and pasta and embroidery.
And of course, you guys. Thank you so much to all you lovely LOVELY people who messaged me with words of support, encouragement and commiseration. So many of you told me that you’d felt like that before too, and it just really reminded me how great the internet can be for bringing people together even if you’re physically alone.
It’s been a while (again) since I last wrote a Happy Monday post, but your messages made me miss chatting and catching up with you every week like we used to.
Blogging has moved on and changed a lot from when I first started, but you guys are still here and honestly I don’t know what I’d do without you. ♥︎
1. You lot and your wonderful messages on Friday. (See above.)
2. Peonies. I ordered and paid for my first bunch of Freddie’s Flowers a few weeks ago and set the delivery date for last week. I’d forgotten all about it, so it was super nice to open my door on Wednesday and find a big bunch of fluffy pink peonies on my doorstep!
3. Queer Eye x Nailed It! crossover episode. The Fab Five are the gift that just keeps on giving. If you’ve not watched Nailed It! yet, it’s a show on Netflix where people try to recreate insane Pinterest-worthy bakes. It’s very funny and they did a special crossover episode with the Queer Eye guys which is just everything you’d hope it would be. (Antoni trying to say ‘fondant’ nearly made me crack a rib from laughing.)
4. Smashing through my writer’s block. Three blog posts in a week. What is this madnessss! It’s been a while since I’ve updated so regularly. My brain has been blocked for nearly 6 weeks, and I just couldn’t get any words out. But FINALLY it seems to have cleared and I’ve got already two more posts written and ready to go this week.
5. Wedding fun. Guys, the wedding. The ceremony made us laugh and cry, the dinner was delicious, the wine was ever-flowing, and I ended up ditching my train back to London and crashing on my friend’s sofa just so I could stay and dance with the happy couple and all my friends for just a little bit longer. It was so lovely to have most of the gang back together again, and I couldn’t be happier for my pal and her new husband!
6. Baby cuddles. I’m very much not ready for my own kids yet, but I am aaaaaaall over the cuddles with my friends’ babies. ♥︎
7. McDonalds. Me and my rosé hangover stopped for McDonalds on the way back from the wedding. And as a bonus, I was still wearing my outfit from the night before. Hair up, sunglasses on, and I felt a bit like a millennial version of Audrey in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. (Plus two ladies complimented me on my/Katie’s dress and wanted to know where it was from. So I’m classing that as a win!)
8. Smashing it at the gym. A new gym just opened 2 minutes down the road from our flat, and I’ve been really enjoying getting back into my workouts. I signed up 6 months ago, so I’m currently paying £10.99 which is a BARGAIN, and I’m determined to make the most of it. Fave classes so far: HIIT and Legs, Bums and Tums!
9. Raspberry jam on toast. I got cravings for jam when I saw Hannah eating it on Instagram, so I bought jam, put it on toast, and it was great.
10. Ticking ‘smear test’ off my to do list. I mean, it’s been on the list for nearly two years, so it was a pretty satisfying one to tick off. (GET TESTED LADIES. Smears save lives. ♥︎)